For most men pouring out their emotions isn’t particularly their forte. It lies outside the premises of their jurisdiction.
Men however have a knack for bottling up their emotions and hiding it very well.
Those of us with an unqualified flair for writing, articulate our emotions via writing medium.
Since time immemorial society in particular has shoved the subject of emotions and the ability to express them down the throats of women. We have been indoctrinated through the medium of socialization that emotion is no playground for men. Any man who is either seen our heard pouring out his emotions in which ever medium is either verbally abused, mocked or subjected to a high level of ridicule. His masculinity would be questioned and consequently be the laughing stock among his peers and society as a whole.
Even though the axiom “Men don’t cry’ in someway has catapulted men’s ego to the upper echelons of society. Our inability to to find the right medium to address the emotional stress men are confronted with has in a way opened the floodgates of divorces to rain down on our families.
Don’t be floored to find out that Men Cry too. Being the head of the family through divine prominence, men are not only responsible for the physical needs but also the spiritual, social, and physiology needs of the family.
As a wise man once said, it is easier for a man to father a child than a child to have a real father.
This buttresses my point that the role of a man in a family cannot be underestimated. They face a plethora of issues which more often than not affects them mentally. After all, they are just human.
This write up is by no way belittling the significant roles mothers play in the family. Mothers do a lot but for the purposes of the write up let’s zoom in on the men of the house.
Continuing from where we left off, a man’s inability to provide for his or her family is his single most biggest fear.
Should his biggest fear come to fruition as a result of lay-off from work, illness, et al his ability to be the provider and protector of the family is crippled. This sends distressing signals to the brain coupled with existing societal pressures his stress and anxiety levels skyrockets. The man is in further hot waters when his spouse is the nagging type.
Men then channel this pain,disappointments,fears, lamentations through alcohol, drugs which leads to a series of rippling effects which finally culminates in the abandonment of family. Sheer irresponsibility takes over as a medium from shying away from the prying mouths and eyes of society. Sometimes this is how best some men express themselves.
A broken man is a man who is bottling up emotions because society sees his expression of them as a weakness. He cries at night and during the day he broods and drinks.
If you peer through the anecdote of a drunkard, you’ll be shocked to know that some of these men take solace in the bottle of alcohol the carry around.
Bottled up emotions, tears, lamentations are channeled here.
Emotions are part and parcel of our fabric as human beings. It’s been imbued in us for a purpose.
Our ability to express them in a safe space without being judged is what makes the difference.
Men cry too and they need that space.
Godfred Edem Ahlijah
Facebook: Godfred Ahlijah