Many people are of the view that having a jealous partner is a sign of love. There are some relationships if one partner is not showing any sign of jealousy then the other partner tends to think or wonder if their partner really loves them. I beg to deliver that a jealous partner do not necessarily mean love as we do feel sometimes.
Evolutionary psychologists would say that jealousy exists because it is a good mate retention strategy (it helps us keep our partners because we become more attuned to potential threats to our relationship).
So when does jealous becomes good or bad, take a walk with me whiles l help you to know the bad or good ones when your partner start acting jealous. “We all experience jealousy at some point; the key to keeping things healthy is being able to identify the feeling and not allow it to control behavior,” marriage and family therapist and relationship expert Esther Boykin.
Feelings of jealousy sometimes are normal in a healthy relationship. But it’s how we react to it that counts. If your partner uses anger and jealousy to stop you from talking to other people or seeing friends, this isn’t really about love – it’s about control.
Now let’s look at some signs for good or bad jealousy.
- Feeling jealous – like if your partner always seems to have a fantastic time with some other cute girl or guy. Try telling your partner how you feel:
- Accepting reassurance, or if you don’t feel reassured, letting them know how you feel.
- Accepting that your partner can choose their own friends and can talk to whoever they want to.
- Your partner succeeded in something you are both pursuing.
- Your partner makes comments about other people’s attractiveness to you.
- Your partner treats another activity like a second relationship
- Your partner goes on a trip or has an experience that you aren’t apart of.
- Your partner is bragging about their success when you’re in a rough place.
- Demanding your attention all the time.
- Constantly wanting to know where you are and who you’re with.
- Flying into a rage and making you scared to upset them.
- Controlling your social life or who you talk to.
- Making you feel bad for wanting to see your family or friends.
- Texting you all the time to check what you are doing.
- Constantly accusing you of flirting.
- Making you give up working, studying or doing things you like.
- Telling you who you can and can’t talk to.
- Hurting you or abusing you because you made them jealous.
- Reading your messages online or on your mobile at the least chance.
So the next time you feel jealous check with the list and crosscheck if it a healthy one or an unhealthy one. As Maya Angelou once said “Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.”
by Adisenu-doe Jennifer